Forgotten Love

“You can never forget the ones you love.”, He said with a big smile plastered on his perfect face. But he didn’t know.

    I was 12 years-old when my father fell into a coma after he was hit by a drunk driver. I still don’t know the name of the person because it was a hit-and-run but that doesn’t really matter. As the days and weeks went by my mother never lost hope and she never gave up on him.

  You could tell it was taking a toll on her though. She went from being told she was loved everyday to not being told for 6 months straight, but she managed to keep a smile. She was the only one who kept me positive and the only one who could always find the bright story. But it all changed so quickly.

  My father woke up 6 months after the accident and everyone was so happy and relieved that he had awoken, except for him. He was confused and frazzled by the amount of people that were waiting for him to wake and it was even worse that he forgot all of us.

   It took my mother a whole month to accept that the man she loved was missing from her life. My father had moved out and my mother’s depression had moved in. She harmed herself all down her arms and thighs she also thought I never knew, but trust me I did. I helped her as much as I could and I thought she was getting better but she wasn’t.

  4 months after my father had waken I walked into our small home and found my mother lying in a pool of her own blood. I ran to her a kneeled down hoping to feel a slight pulse but there was none. I called the 9-1-1 even though I knew there was nothing they could do for her.  I waited 47 minutes for the ambulance and all I did those 47 minutes was lay in my mothers blood and hold her dead, cold, lifeless body.  I was 13.

   2 weeks after my 14th birthday my father was drunk driving and was killed in a car accident with innocent people. I couldn’t comprehend what they had told me. All I knew was that I had no parents. So, at the age of 14 I officially lost both of my parents.

   I am now 15 and I have been living with my grandparents for the past 2 years. I have gone to many counseling sessions and groups for “kids like me” and I’ve gotten better over the years.

But the truth is I’ll never forget their forgotten love.

Expectations

My expectations for myself are so high and being who I am I’m okay with that. But it’s when the expectations become beat downs and I’m looking down on myself because I am so close yet so far. I reach and reach until I can reach no more, but it’s never enough.
   I look around and I notice something. It’s just me, meaning I am the only one beating myself down. Meaning this is my fault. And being who I am I’m okay with that.

Back to Life

keep-calm-and-listen-to-music-215-257x300   

   I feel like a zombie as I walk out of the TSI testing room, groaning and moaning as I wait for my ride. I obviously wasn’t a fan of testing (and I really don’t think anyone else is) especially when I take a test that’s meant for people at least four years older than me. I see my mom’s small black sportscar zoom through the parking lot and jerk to a stop right in front of me. She asks me the regular “mom questions” but I couldn’t even answer them with a proper sentence because I felt almost braindead.

   As I walked up the porch steps I dragged my feet willing them to at least make it to my room. Climbing the stairs felt like it took 2x longer than normal but as I fell onto my small bed I was quickly relieved. Laying on the bed was relaxing but it wasn’t the only thing I did to wake up from my zombie-like state, I pulled my phone out of my backpack and pushed my headphones into the jack. After pushing a couple buttons and I was content once again, listening to the sounds of the classical music rush into my ears. 

   The music brought me back to life.

The Other End

pingback

   If you had the chance to crawl through a tunnel and be anywhere you wanted to be, where would you choose?There are so many magnificent places that are scattered all throughout the world that it could be hard to pick just one. But I knew exactly where I would go…Italy.

   Italy is one of my favorite places I have been to because it is full of mystery, adventure, and romance. And being able to go through a tunnel and show up to one of my most favorite places in the world well that would be fantastic. Italy would be one step away and no one had to know except for me.

   Though this sounds intriguing the travel is half the fun.  

Bullying

Bullying. A word that only triggers a sense in our mind that something is bad. But the thing is bullying is only a word, it’s the actions behind the words that truly scare us back into our shells. Pain and hurt are not only being afflicted on the ones being bullied, it’s also physical and mental emotions the bully might be feeling too. Bullying can be caused by things from the past or things that are happening right now, another thing it can be caused by is peer pressure meaning their friends are bullying them, or pressuring them, into hurting others.

As we all must know, bullying happens a lot from teens who are very vulnerable and emotional. These teens could be suffering from abuse at home or abuse from the past, being abused can be a very damaging action  that can shadow on to your future as you grow up. Many of these teens don’t know how to handle the emotions that are being pushed upon them because, most of the time, they have no one to talk to and no one to express their feelings to. So as a way of getting out their emotions they bully others. Seeing others getting hurt instead of them makes them feel some sort of power, but it doesn’t last them long so what they do is they keep hurting others to make them feel better.

Peer pressure is something we see often, friends doing it to friends and sometimes strangers doing it to strangers but the thing is sometimes it’s not for the best. Even though people just want to fit they should have limits to what they will and will not do, but most kids don’t because they will literally do anything to fit in. Personally, I think that hurting others is definitely something I would never do to fit in because emotional scars last forever. I think that people think bullying others puts them on the top, it makes them cooler than others, but it doesn’t it makes you a horrible person that no one wants to be around. Even though physical bullying hurts what people say digs deep and buries itself in your brain and is left there for the deep dark nights where there is no one there to help you cope. Suicide is another word people hate but all in all it’s only just a word. Actions, actions have definitions and suicide is a definition for an action. Bullying can and will lead up to a fate like this and living with the burden that it was your fault someone else took their own life is a burden no one wants to live with.

  Bullying causes pain. So why do it?

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